what??

there has to be a balance between everything, so does that mean you can't wholeheartedly trust people, that you always have to leave room for the shred of possibility that they're a knife-wielding, blood-spitting, animal-hating child murderer?

i like to believe people, i like to believe things are possible, but maybe that's a problem. i end up being lazy because i always believe things will work themselves out, and perhaps i don't do much to salvage it. ok that just sounded ridiculous.

i'm bad at this thinking thing. goodness me, this post is horrendous.

the last kiss

"i love her steven, i realise now i love her more than i will ever love anybody else."

"stop talking about love, every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. means nothing."

"it's true."

"still doesn't mean anything! what you feel only matters to you, it's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. it's the only thing that counts."

where's the meaning in that

it doesn't mean anything.

half the things we say don't really mean anything.

i'm sorry. are you really? i don't think so.

if you were, it won't be so easy to say.

(by the way, just to clear things up, i haven't been harmed by love or anything stupid like that, i did not get beaten up by my boyfriend, broke up and then took him back. it's just for the impact.)

jam and thoughts

because you stop thinking
to stop feeling
until nothing matters anymore

nothing's more important than the next
everything weighs the same
there are no differences
no standards
no judgements

days flow by like water
time means nothing
it moves it stops
but there's no change

you stop thinking to stop feeling
i turn to stone
nothing bothers me and nothing excites me
i don't care
i can't care

so it's you
i could let it mean something
but if i do i start thinking
so i don't
but i just end up waiting

so it's you
so what.

am i crazy!!

yo, ok so who was the one with a genius idea to set up an online magazine??!
is it going to trigger a cash inflow??
i have no idea how to set up a website and just currently struggling with flash!!
upside is, i currently have 2 writers.
hmmm, it doesn't seem real until i kinda write it down.

look out for highcrass!

not so soon... i suspect it's gonna take a while. ;)

running to nowhere

ok. so am i going to poland or not???

i hate waiting, why doesn't someone just tell me something!!

what the fuck is this crap.

just face it.

it can't change.

it's not even such a big deal.

i'm pissed off.

i hate being pissed off.

why can't things just be easy.

i hate feeling like time doesn't move.

honestly, i'm so annoyed i could eat this light bulb.

i have no control.

just come.

it's not so hard.

it's one of those days
after you pull yourself up from a night's out
three quarters of the day is gone
and you realise you didn't miss a thing

but no regrets
because the night out was great