payback

this stupid thing about revenge never fucking goes anywhere.

i'll buy you a boat and i don't want to save the world

chris and i were talking this night and somehow stumbled upon the topic of what we'd do with any amount of million dollars if we had them. actually, he just went, you know what'd i do if i won the lottery.

but who cares what he'd do, here's what i'd do:

1. buy a boat

2. bring my mum and dad on holiday

3. buy a holiday home on the caribbeans and fly my friends there

4. take my friends and i on a MAJOR shopping spree

5. open a club

well, you get the basic idea, notice how none of the above five or any other things we're gonna do with that money involve any sort of philantrophic (i can't spell) or charitable act, and that's just it. we're materialistic. we're brought up in a materialistic world. we're conditioned this way, and if anyone tells you that they don't care about money, that's bull. they're in denial. unless you had no childhood and grew up in a dumpster or anything tragic like this, you're going to be materialistic for sure. we're a spoilt generation.

it's not a bad thing. it's not a bad thing to want to improve your life and the lives of others around you, especially of those that you love. and if you can do it with money, why the hell not. sure you could care for them, pick them wild flowers, tell them stories, cry over ice-cream, share some hugs, easy peasy. but no matter what anyone says, receiving a physical gift is always nice. a gift can come from the heart, it could be homemade you say. yeah sure, i agree. but between a handmade photoframe and a purring aston martin, i don't need to tell you which i'd choose. you'd be jumping into that car with me. hell, i'd even let you drive.

what does it feel like, i wonder, to be able to have anything in the world that you want. can you really have too much. would you know when to stop. or can you stop. is there ever enough. does it come to a point when you struggle against yourself, you think all this money you have is for something bigger, there has to be a reason. would you ever take a look at all the things you have bought in your sprawling mansion whose walls are dotted with renaissance art and tapestries (is this what rich people really buy, personally, if i were rich, i'd buy pop art. i'd buy Duchamp's urinal and put it in the living room and by all means, feel free to piss in it.) and then say i think i've had enough. and then give all your money to charity.

the questions of the rich i'd never have the luxury to mull over.

ahh... if i could strike lottery.

i don't believe in fate

or destiny, or karma, or anything like that. because when your friend has gotten involved with someone who's already involved with someone else and then got broken into and then scored a free holiday, you start to think karma doesn't exist. but then maybe this is a sign.