i'm bored. it's weird, because i shouldn't be. but somehow i feel different. i'm sitting here in a foreign land which feels strangely comfortable. for some reason i can't find anything that interests me. which is why i found a big project. i need to prove that i'm not a fuck up. that i'm not entirely floozy. that i have some substance in my brain. i need to do this for myself. i hope this project works, becuase this is my big ticket. i'm repeating things i already told some people. actually just 2 people. something is wrong, i just can't place my finger on it.